Blog Post #3-Sharon Olds-"That Girl" and "Sex Without Love"

I really enjoyed all of the poems by Sharon Olds. Her poetry was unlike any other poetry that I had read before. I really liked how intense they were, the messages of them, and the fact that they told a story. Her words truly have the power to impact readers. Two of these poems in particular really made me think.

One poem that really had an impact on me was “That Girl.” One thing that is shocking about this poem is how vivid the details are when Olds describes the rape with extremely graphic details. The fact that the girl had to live through this event is absolutely horrifying. She experienced something that no one should ever have to experience. Not only was she raped, but she had to watch her friend go through the same thing and end up dying. The details really make readers cringe because they feel as if they are there watching this brutal event unfold. This poem humbles people and makes people acknowledge the fact that really horrible things happen in the world, especially because she does not sugar coat anything. Olds makes readers deeply sympathize with the girl. Readers also feel for the girl when she has to re-live the sexual assault, rape, and murder when she testifies at the trial. However, I feel that the end of the poem was very empowering. The fact that the girl was able to move on with her life was amazing. Not only did she move on with her life, but she was able to become a cheerleader, which was really incredible. Although some people saw this as negative, I saw this as a really great thing. I thought this was symbolic because she did not let the fact that she was raped strip her of her sexuality, prevent her from flying when she “throws her body up into the air,” or let her body be forever victimized. She was able to carry on with her life. She knows how lucky she is to be alive because she survived when her best friend died. Shaking the “shredded pom-poms in her fist” at the end of the poem is a form of liberation, empowerment, and strength.

Another poem that I really connected with is “Sex Without Love.” This was a unique poem to read because like “That Girl,” the poem is about a topic that is not typically written about. I thought that Olds did a wonderful job discussing this topic. This poem can be read a few different ways. On one hand, it was very interesting because she was contemplating how anyone could ever have sex without being in love with their partner. Sex is such a personal, emotional, special thing and she did not understand how people could “glide over each other like ice.” These people are purely having sex for pleasure. However, these people recognize that they are alone in the world and are not dependent on anyone. I thought that the messages in the poem were great to hear because sex has become a very casual thing for many people in this generation. It can be hard to find people who wait for love because there is less of an emphasis on it today, which is sad. Because of this, people who do wait often face judgment, are made to feel inadequate, or are treated as though they are naïve, when in reality, what they are making an empowering choice for themself. These people have the strength to stick to their beliefs, not succumb to peer pressure, and do what is best for them. Sometimes, people regret their decisions to not wait for the right person, so it is important to be sure of your decision, regardless of what you choose. On the flip side, this poem also could be read as an admiration and curiousity of people who have the ability to have sex without love. This is something that many people do not have the ability to do. The author could actually be somewhat jealous of people who do have this ability. She wonders how people can have sex and still survive with the truth of being alone after forming such a connection with someone. She does not understand how someone can do this beautiful act with someone and not become emotionally attached after this experience. I also think that it is very important to  examine this interpretation of the poem because people are able to have sex without love, and if that is what they want, then that is what they should do. People should not face judgment for choosing to live independently while at the same time, engaging in activities that give them pleasure, whether or not there is an emotional connection involved. Not everyone is able to do this, so if people are, then more power to then. Also, women should not be subjected to double standards about not having causal sex when they are single because it makes them a whore when a man can, is praised for it, and it is expected of them. This is a very unfair idea in today’s society. Sometimes, women have very good reasons for being single and not wanting to commit themselves to a relationship, such as wanting to start their career. Overall, people should live their lives the way that they want to without the judgment of others because sex is a personal choice that is different for everyone.