blog #3

Kingsolver's Letter to a Daughter at Thirteen was a very emotional and relate-able  She had a way of making this letter personal and broad enough for mothers and daughters to relate.  A lot of things caught my eye from this letter. 
"People say it's because parents love their kids so much that they want to tell them how to live.  But I'm afraid that's only half love, and the other half selfishness."  This really stuck out to me.  In the letter he keeps making the point that her daughter will need to learn on her own and she will have to experience things on her own that a mother cannot teach her.  Many parents try to control everything about their children, to protect them but in reality its not.  Children have to be able to experience and learn from their mistakes in order to grow.  This is a little off topic but, also parents that try to make life sound perfect to children. Like there isn't any bad in the world, when in reality, life is imperfect, and sometimes the world isn't such a happy place. I think that teens need to realize this, that there is bad in the world, but also good.   You kind of have to let them experience things on their own, good and bad.  It kind of reminds me of a little child playing near a stove.  A mother can tell them how hot it is, and still they have enough curiosity to touch it.  Its kind of like the same thing, they touched the stove and found out that it was hot, and they hurt themselves.  By experiencing it, they learned to not touch the stove.  
"I'd been well under control up to that point, but I had no practice in self-control."  Not only do teens have to experience things on their own to learn from them but also for self-control.  I really liked this quote.  As Kingsolver explained, she had become a troubled teen after going off to college. Up until she was 18, she was very restricted on what she could and couldn't do it.  She was never given enough decisions to make on her own, so after 18 years, she became reckless because she wasn't able to teach herself control.  From her teen years, she really learned how she would raise her daughter.  Her past really affected her decisions about being a mother.
I really enjoyed reading this letter because not only was I able to relate but it was very emotional.  It really showed that motherhood is an emotional journey.  It is important to give your children enough space to learn from their mistakes and experiences to prepare them for the rest of their lives.  Kingsolver will not be able to be there for her daughter forever, so she is really trying to prepare her for the future and still be a motherly figure.

http://mamashealth.com/relationships/motheranddaughterconflicts.asp

This is an article about the conflicts that arise between mothers and daughters.  I thought it kind of related to Kingsolver's letter to her daughter.  I think that Kingsolver's parenting style really eliminates some of these problems between mother and daughter.  Now I am not a parent and I can only imagine how hard it is to let your children experience hurt, sadness, and happiness. But then again I believe that is essential for that child to grow and have a good relationship with their mothers.